Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you had a crystal ball, and could see one, two, five years into your future, and see what life would be like? What you’d be doing, how happy you’d be, where you’re living, who you’re with. Would save a whole lot of heartache, right?
But what if you didn’t like what you saw? What if your life was exactly the same as it is right now? You were in the same job, doing the same thing day in, day out, earning the same income, eating at the same cafe, having the same routine, repeating the same mistakes. I’d be checking the crystal ball for faults, that’s for sure.
I had one of those crystal ball moments, except it came in the form of a journal entry. You see I’m a serial journal keeper, well, used to be. I’ve had many years of self reflection, digging, learning, growing, and it hasn’t been all roses. I went through periods of writing in journals, pouring my deepest darkest thoughts out onto paper, and I hope with crossed fingers that no one finds and reads them. Gulp.
But the most memorable entry is one I wrote to myself when I turned forty. I wrote what was going on for me in that moment, and what my dreams were. I spoke about the relationship I yearned for, how I wanted my business to grow, how I wanted to feel, and the person I ached to be. As you do, I put it away, and got on with life. It wasn’t until I turned forty-five, and was cleaning out the hall closet, that I came across it, and went looking back through all the entries.
When I read my forty year old self’s note, I stopped. My heart sank, and I broke down into tears, clutching my journal to my chest. Because nothing had changed. I didn’t have the things I wrote about longingly in that book, I was still holding out for them. It was as though I’d written it yesterday, not five years ago. I felt disappointed in myself, but beyond that, I felt such a deep sadness that I hadn’t honoured my heart, and done anything about them. Instead of intentionally and actively seeking out things I could change, I just kept wishing and dreaming, hoping that they’d miraculously show up without me having to do any of the hard work.
It was in that moment that I knew things had to change. Here’s what I learnt:-
- Hoping and wishing don’t give you what you want. They just keep you frozen in the dream
- Writing things down are great, but if you hide them away in a cupboard, and don’t give them any love or attention, they are simply words
- Saying you want things to be different requires some fancy foot work to support it. It doesn’t mean you turn your life upside down, but just one or two actions everyday is enough to create some energetic momentum. Read something, watch something, research something – just show the universe you’re somewhat serious
- Life passes in the blink of an eye. Five years flew past without me realising it, and without rejoicing in the beauty of the things I said I wanted
- Your comfort zone is like glue. It’s so easy to stay where it’s safe, warm and fuzzy (regardless of whether you say you don’t like it or not) It can keep you stuck for longer than you realise.
This moment of deep despair and sadness was enough to kick me into action. I’m forty-eight now, and call on that feeling often, especially if I’m finding myself stuck in a rut. My life is so dramatically, wonderfully, joyfully different now, and I’ve done so much in those three years.
I took myself to Europe on a five week trip, visiting Paris and doing everything I’d been putting off til I met someone. So much more fun when you do it for you. I became more intentional in what I wanted for myself, did more growth work and did this under the guidance of an amazing coach – and finally realised that my personal training business of ten years no longer lit me up the way it used to.
Yes, I still ached to serve people, but it leaned away from the physical training aspect. Health and wellbeing is one of my highest values, and I include it in all my programs for clients, but it’s only one aspect. I’d worked so diligently in finding, and amplifying my own joy and happiness, that it hit me one day what I was guided to do – to show others how to fall back in love with their life and themselves by reconnecting them to their source of joy and happiness!
I dated intentionally, and then knew instinctively I was ready to meet someone. He found me, and twelve months down the track, (well, even before that), we know it’s a keeper.
So here I am….Your Joy Coach. It took me awhile to get here, and I resisted changing like the devil. I fought tooth and nails to stay safe, cosy and stuck in my dis-comfort zone (cos that’s really what it is, right? No-one actually LIKES being there), and let my dreams dry like the ink in my hidden diary. It took an emotional hit to wake me up, smell the glue, and finally warm up my ‘dream muscles’ and get them moving again, much like working out the muscles in your body.
Was it hard? Is the Pope catholic?
Was it worth it? Oh my…..my heart leaps every time I think of my life now, and how I now share what I’ve learnt and implemented, with the clients that I work with.
Change is inevitable, and will serve you, if you let it.
You don’t have to wait for a ‘diary moment’ to nudge you into creating the life you want.
And en-Joy the ride.
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What my Forty Year Old Self Taught Me
This really gets my goat
Sometimes I want to hide under a doona. I really do. And I totally get why you would want to as well! There’s just so much conflicting information out there about how to be healthy, how to lose weight, what’s good for you, what’s not. Blink an eye, and there’s another diet that will guarantee you the body of your dreams……Grrrrr……..
But what gets my big fat black goat the most, is when people giving this advice out don’t walk their talk. I’ve been a personal trainer for over 10 years, and in the fitness industry for double that, and it’s no secret that it’s a very aesthetic industry. It really is all about looking good. And to look good, you need to do all the things that support that. Eat well, make good choices, move your body, be disciplined, consistent. Not rocket science, right?
So when I see or hear an ‘expert’ dishing out advice on how to be healthy, drop those kilos, or change your life, but you know their actions don’t match the information they’re providing, I tend to see red. I had a client go to see their doctor once, to get some results of some tests they ran, and was told she had to lose some weight. Guaranteed, my lovely lady was there, because she knew this, but to be told this by a heavily overweight, wheezy GP was amusing to say the least. Pot, meet kettle.
If I’m paying someone to help me get somewhere, or achieve something, I jolly well want, no, expect them to be already there, and then some. And then pile a whole lot more on top. You should expect the same. That’s what makes them the expert, and worth my time and effort listening to them. And then put a sugar free, gluten free, fat free, cherry on top. Let’s go.
- to look as good, and feel as good as I can, as I get older
- surround myself with amazing people who lift me up, and see the good in me
- make an amazing living changing people’s lives through health,passion, and self love, and have fun doing it
It was truly like a light bulb went off. Exploded. Made that little ping noise when a bulb actually blows. The things I’d been clouded by were like that simply because they weren’t aligning with my values. They weren’t ticking my boxes! Arrggghhh! How simple, and divinely freeing this was! It was so easy, from then on in, to let go of those harrowing non-decisions, and then be very clear and concise about moving forward. Yippee! I do recall I had a wee teary moment, simply due to the realisation of how clear it was now.
From then on in, I’ve used this protocol with clients in regards to their health. Too often I’ve seen a misalignment in women’s actions and their values. Their own wellbeing is just a dream, not in their value system at all – so by shining the light on it, doing some digging, and probing, we get to a place of peace around where their health sits for them. Then we can set goals and actions to make the process so much easier, less frustrating and non- resistant. Aaaahh…. divine!
So where do you sit with your values? Do they include your health, wellbeing, energy, self love? There really is tremendous value, in your values. They will shape your life, and your success.